Saintly Rows

"That was my father.”

“I figured… what’s up?”

She’s takes a deep breath and sighs, she is clearly distraught. “He was saying some crazy stuff…crazier than normal.”

“That’s saying a lot.”

“He was going on and on about how he thinks it would be best if I went to be with him.”

“What?! We’ve already been over this!”

“No, I know I know... and I told him that, I told him I wasn’t going to leave, but he said things have changed and I should reconsider. So I asked him what’s changed? And he got all weird and quiet and kept avoiding the question. But he kept saying I should leave and I should be with him… he was really freaking me out.”

Lark is upset but trying to stay cool. He hates it when her father gets like this, but if he gets pissed it only pushes her away. “So… what are you going to do?”

“Nothing... like you said, we’ve been over this. Whatever time we have left, whatever is going to happen, I want to be here…with you, for whatever is going to happen.”

Lark smiles but Lucy doesn’t. He can see her wheels turning and he can tell something in her fathers tone is making her worry. Something in her face is making Lark worry.

…

Larks phone hums and buzzes at him to let him know he’s got a text.

“Are you busy?” It’s Lucy

“Nope.” He texts back, awaiting her reply, wondering why she is asking.

A few seconds go by and the phone starts to sing. Not a text. He answers the phone the same way he always answers when she calls. “Hi”

“Holy fuck, have you not heard?”

“No, what?! Everything ok?”

“It’s a lie, its all been a lie. Some sort of trick or something, fuck I don’t know. You haven’t heard about any of this? Jesus.!”

“Wait, slow down, what are you talking about? Who is lying about what?”

“The government, the…the end of life stuff, the whole five years thing…they are saying it isn’t real or that it isn’t going to happen I’m not quiet sure, but either way they are saying that it isn’t going to happen.”

“Well that’s fucking great! Why don’t you sound like this is good news…?”

“…They are saying that they need everyone to start moving towards a central location. They want everyone to be together. I think they want to try and start over…”

“Ok…I’m lost. Are you close to home?”

“Yea, I'll be there in like five minutes.”

“Ok, just explain this all again when you get home.”

"Ok, that’s a good idea, I will.”

“Ok, see you soon.”

“yeah…bye.”

…

Lucy walks in and drops her things but stands still looking at Lark shaking her head. “Its all going to change…again. “

“Lets just take a step back and you start from the beginning. Where were you.”

“I went to get my hair done and one of the t.vs was on the government channel and the talking head was going on about how they are setting up checkpoints and for everyone to start making there way towards some central location or they will be left for dead. They said everyone has one week to pack everything they want to take with them but don’t expect to every be back home. They said it was for our own good.”

Lark has a chuckle at the though of the hairdresser. The end of the world is supposed to be six months away and still girls will do just about anything to get there hair done. Money means nothing these days so you have to trade or give things of value to get a hair cut. Food and water are typical and some people still take cash hoping that they will be dead and rich. But for the most part its food and water, and drugs or sex, it varies from person to person. Aside from the hair dresser the only other people who still have jobs are butchers and drug dealers. The necessities of life…food, drugs and looking good. Some things never change.

Lark shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “Is this what your dad was talking about?”

“I don’t know, but I'll bet you it is.”

“So what exactly are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know, I have no fucking clue, I just found all this out minutes ago. None of this makes any sense.”

“Well, I say the first thing you do is call your dad and get our facts straight before I pack up my vintage record collection, cause you know there is no way I’m leaving those behind.” 
Lucy doesn’t smile but she does sit down. “What the fuck? What the fuck is going on?

It was so hard to accept this fate, this life…the end. And now they are telling us this isn’t it. I should be relived that its not, but a part of me…”

She turns to Lark and kisses him, “a part of me was ready to go.”

She leans back to look in his eyes to gauge his response. He stares back not giving her anything. Its what she loved about him, you never really knew what he was thinking.

She stands and grabs her phone, “I’m going to call my dad and see if I can get some details on all this.”

Lark watches Lucy slide open the glass door of the patio and dial her father. The conversation turning from general concern and confusion to anger, frustration, and fear. She cries and throws her arms, she sits, she stands and paces, she stops moving and for a short while appears to be almost lifeless. Larks eyes follow Lucy almost the entire time, and though and knows what is going on, this is one of those times that you really have to know what is being said. “Maybe they were talking about her mother?” he says aloud with a smile. He can always make himself laugh.

She opens the patio door with a look on her face that he doesn’t think he’s ever seen. This fills him with nameless fear and dread. They were facing their impending doom, they had lived as fugitives and refuges, and they had seen the world eat itself. This look... this was something he had never seen. Lark was nervous, very very nervous.

He raises his eyebrows and looks at her in the face, but not in the eyes.

She sits down and looks at him but is still quiet. Seconds feel like minutes and minutes feel years as he waits for her to break the deafening silence.

“I have to go. I can’t stay her anymore.”

“We have to go you mean, we.”

“Yea… Yes… we have to go.” She looks away.

“They are going to start over. A new world order my father called it. The meteors or comets or whatever it was that was going to kill us, well it’s not going to happen. He said they stopped it, but now because of what has happened over the last few years, they want to get everyone together in one central location so we can rebuild together. Everyone he said, in the world, in one place to create a new society. He thinks they can make a utopia.“

Lark rolls his eyes, “typical government bullshit. Utopia? Really, a fucking utopia with the left over trash of the world. The only people left are the people crazy enough to kill to survive or the people scared enough to hide and too passive to kill themselves. Those people are weak, dumb and will make a terrible utopia…or a great one because you can brain wash them in a matter of days… you don’t think…?”

“He said the dangerous wouldn’t be aloud in. He said no felons, no criminals, no crazies, no people with warrants, criminal records, or mental health disorders, they are only going to let in the clean, the trusted, the good... the safe.”

Lark and Lucy know exactly what this means. Lark is and has been a fugitive for almost his entire life; he has a warrant in almost every state, a criminal record and should probably be medicated for his neurotic behavior.

“Lucy… you can’t go. We can’t go. There’s no question about it. I won’t get past the first checkpoint or whatever you call it. I won’t get past shit. We have to stay. We’ll be fine her, you and me, well be fine.”

Lucy doesn’t blink and doesn’t look away because she knows he is wrong. They both do. She puts a hand on his face, she knows he’s scared, she’s scared too. They had worked so hard for so long just to get to this point only to find out that it was all being ripped apart.

“You know I can’t stay. I’m dead if I do. We’ll both be dead if we stay. How long do you think we can last out here on our own? Look outside Lark, there’s nothing left, and there will be even less than that next week. The floods, the fires, the earthquakes, tornadoes, and food, where will we get food? No babe, I’m sorry, but you know we can’t stay.”
”Then what, what do we do? I can’t go with you, it doesn’t matter who you father is, I’m a goner the first place we stop. What do you think they are going to do with all the unwanted? I’m as good as dead any way you look at it. And Roxanne? This may as well be all her idea, she'll make every effort to make sure i don't survive a week out there on my own.”

She stares at him hard. He looks away because he knows what she is doing. Tough love is a son of a bitch. She doesn’t say anything but keeps her eyes fixes. She is waiting for him to man up. To be the man she loves. “I’ll follow you... I'll stay behind and sleep in the shadows, but I’ll be there every step of the way. If the path you take takes you where you are supposed to be, than it's where I'm supposed to be.” He looks down and away thinking about what he just said and nods to himself. "I can do this... for you, I can do this. I mean, I've already done so much, what's a couple nights out on the road?"

She smiles a coy little smile like she just beat him in a game of chess. She is smarter than him, nobody ever questioned that. She nods and says, “When we get to where ever it is we are supposed to go, that’s where my father will be. And once he sees I’m safe he will do and give me anything. I'll just tell him that he can either let you in or let me go. Knowing my father, he would sacrifice the safety of millions if it meant my happiness.”

“This is nuts, you know that right. I am a hunted and very unpopular man. I may not make it one night out there on my own.”

“Well I guess you can choose, die here alone a slow boring death, or die fighting for our future and freedom.”

“Oh that’s not far at all. Why is it always on me to choose? You could choose to die here with me. Slow and boring doesn’t sound all that bad…?”

“Don’t be cute,” she says while standing. “Pack your things kid, looks like we’re taking a trip.”

She stands looking down at a boy dressed like a man. Innocent, and scared she sees him the way she has always seen him, tragically flawed with a good heart. She wonders where the years without him went and why it took so long to figure out what it is he meant to her, why in her youth she hadn't seen his goodness and grace like she did now. She hoped now that he felt her love, that he knew she was sorry and regretted the past, their past. But mostly she just hoped he wouldn't get himself killed the minute he stepped outside. She forces a smile pretending that she thinks it will all be ok, he stares back, blank as night, cold as the air outside. He does not smile back, he doesn't share her optimism.

…

Lark sits looking Lucy in the eyes with the same look a puppy gives its owner. But she is like a wall. She had the ability to turn off her emotions and just stick to the facts. To not be swayed by emotions, but knew that sometimes you have to make a decision based on something other than your heart.

“So this is it?”

“Looks like it.”

“And…you’re sure about all this?”

“Yea.”

“Because its not to late to change your mind.”

“Yes it is.”

Lark looks away because he doesn’t know what to say, and he doesn’t want to argue because she’s right. They had only two more days.

“My father said the first checkpoint has already opened and closed. The nearest checkpoint is 70 miles from here and we have two days to get there. We have to leave tomorrow.”

Lark takes a deep breath and sighs. Lucy doesn’t ask why he sighs because she knows. She would do anything for Lark, except give up. That’s what staying meant to her, to them. It was giving up on their future, on everything they had worked so hard to create, on everything they had left behind. She knew these next couple months would be hard, but how hard she could never know. She knew the anxiety he felt over losing her again and the risk involved in what they were about to try, but still, she knew what had to be done.

“How far is it? I mean, how many miles total?”

“A lot. I’m not exactly sure but my father said it would be around 3,000.”

Lark is nodding his head even though he cannot fathom that distance in his mind.

“So how long will it take to get there?”

“He said it should take us about 14 weeks, give or take. The checkpoints are open for two weeks before they close but people are only aloud to stay for two nights, so well be moving pretty quickly.”

“And that’s all that we know?”
”Yep. He said take the trains as often as we can and the busses, stay in groups, keep your ID on you in case we get stopped and avoid the Gethins.”

“Wow, what would we do without such useful information? Maybe I should send him a thank you card.” Lark says I a very dry and sarcastic tone. “Who would have thought to avoid the Gethins, how weird.”

She smirks at him but doesn’t say anything.

They are sitting on the couch next to one another but not touching. They are in business mode, as Lark likes to think of it. Sometimes they would sit on that couch for hours talking, debating, and arguing different points on different subjects. Learning from one another, teaching each other new perspectives, telling stories and relating to each other’s experiences. Lark called it business time in his head, the times when Lark and Lucy weren’t lovers, but loving companions there trying to help the other one be better. It was the bases of their relationship and the driving force behind their lust for each other’s love.

“Will you be ready to go in two days? Do you know what you are going to take?”

Lark laughs but only because his answer is something he had considered his entire life. Something he had been practicing since he was just a child.

“I think I’ll be ready.” He replies with confidence.

“The clothes on your back and your ipod?” Lucy says with a smile.

“And I’ll probably pack some extra socks.” She laughs and puts her head on his shoulder. Business time is over. He pulls her closer to him; now sitting side by side they say nothing as the stay inside their own heads for a little while longer. Thinking things through, they both have to come to their own level of understanding of the situation before they are ready to move forward. Before they speak. He closes his eyes and daydreams of what life could have been like. He breathes soft and slow and runs his fingers through her hair. Her arms are wrapped around him and she can feel his heart beat against his chest. She can hear his heart beat against his chest. She loves him and would do anything for him. She wants to make love to him but doesn’t. Instead she just holds him and listens to his body. She loves him and would do anything for him. They sit holding each other until they are both sleeping in each other’s arms. This is where they truly excelled… sleeping… their sanctuary.